How do you “Find Balance” when “Balance” is characterized as a state of equilibrium achieved by the cancellation of all forces by equal opposing forces?
It sounds pretty superhero if you ask me, and yet it doesn’t take super powers to achieve. Human beings have a natural ability to find balance, and at the very least to sense when balance is lacking.
Finding Balance as a Parent
I have a 10 year old daughter, and before she was born I committed to being that mom, the one that allowed my kid the freedom to find her sense of balance, of her own body in space. To fall and to figure it out as a result. And you know what? Not once has she had a bad fall. Even when she was pre-verbal and not yet walking I allowed her to climb things, and when she got to the edge, something innate in her knew to stop. To turn around, to climb back down the way she came.
I trusted in my daughters’ ability to find balance with life and herself in it, and she has. People remarked at my ability to do that, and I had to admit it wasn’t easy, but I also knew it was a powerful internal activation that would carry her throughout her life, and so far it has!
Finding Balance as a Child
As children a lot of us didn’t get that allowing. Many of us were coddled, over-protected and cautioned away from risk as children (even if that risk was climbing up the back of the sofa!). Unfortunately that repeated messaging – of us being inherently unsafe and therefore needing “another” to help us, teaches us not to trust in our own ability to find balance when we grow up. As a result adults (aka children who grew up) look outside themselves for guidance, moving through life nervous and afraid unless someone else is there to say “This Way!”.
The truth of it is that no-one can know which way is best for you, because no one else is living in your body! No one else is experiencing the nuances, the circumstances, the thoughts and feelings inside you. The history. The hopes. The dreams. You can articulate it but words will always fall short. Because of this fact – that no one else can live inside your body but you – no one else can accurately walk you through the process of finding balance inside yourself. They can give you tips, they can hope beyond hope for you, they can cheer you on, but only you can find it.
Finding Balance throughout your Life
The greatest spiritual teachers and leaders teach this: you must find the balance within yourself. They can teach you how to sit still, how to quiet the mind, how to breathe; these are all vehicles that can help carry you, but these teachers can’t drive it for you, because they aren’t….you.
If you’re thinking “Well this isn’t helping I NEED someone to tell me what to do!” then you’re missing the point. Anyone who tries to do that is going to send you in the wrong direction! Not because they’re malicious, but again because they just cant know from their perspective. It behooves you to look within for that guidance, because it’s been in you all along.
Finding Balance – A constantly moving target.
Change is inevitable – nothing lasts forever, so even if you think you’re in a state of balance, just wait a couple of hours! If you’re a parent then you know exactly what I mean, nothing is as tricky in life as attempting to balance one’s own life as well as being responsible for children. They throw everything off, not just because they live in a constant state of NOW! but because they’re like an extension of us, and we can’t help but attempt to balance them as well. It’s the fastest path to enlightenment say the enlightened masters: this thing called Parenting. In every moment you’re aware that change is inevitable, and there ain’t nothing you can do about it! That’s a very enlightening place to be indeed.
Tools for Finding Balance
So when it comes to finding balance, there are some very old, tried and true practices that are available to everyone. Regardless of your age, your social status, your income, your IQ, you can achieve balance in your life with regular internal practice. One of those vehicles can be found on our own website – Steve’s Guided Meditation. Meditation is one of the most underrated and yet most powerful of all forces you have within you. Meditation is the door to that equilibrium mentioned in the first paragraph of this column. Its how you enter the space within yourself where balance lives innately. Where it’s always lived.
Many spiritual teachers tell you that Prayer is talking to God, but Meditation is letting God talk to you. Many times within that space you’ll “hear” what you need to do next, or you’ll “see” an image of something that you need to see. These aren’t things you search for, because a true meditative state is one that is not reaching, not asking for answers, not trying, not efforting. A true meditative state is one in which you are simply being and allowing. That’s where the juice is, that’s where all the power is, and that’s where you’ll actually get answers.
If you’re not “into” the spiritual side of things, and prefer a more practical approach to achieving balance in your home and work life, this is a great little article from WikiHow: https://www.wikihow.com/Find-Balance-in-Your-Life.
In Closing
The important thing to remember is that everyone is always in a state of flux, all over the world. It’s the Human experience to traverse the vortex, to get sucked into everything you’ve ever wanted and then spat out again to the outer reaches, to constantly seek and find balance: that state where all the forces are equally opposed. Change is always going to be there, you wouldn’t be human if it weren’t, so it behooves you to find ways to balance that change that resonate with you, irrespective of what anyone else says.
I hope this helps you in some way, and if you’ve yet to hear Steve’s Guided Meditation it can be found here:
It’s one of the most effective ways to achieve balance in your life, and I wish you nothing less than that.
Arohanui (Big Love!)
– Reirani
Balance may be the hardest single thing in life for me to maintain. I know it is the key and i strive for it but it seems to elude me more times than not.
Thank you!
I hear you Heath! It’s a challenge in the best of times!